Meet Other Wediko Students
Students’ Stories of Struggles and Successes
- Learning disabilities & conflicts with parents
- Man of the house
- Asperger’s Disorder
- A 10 year-old boy with low self-esteem
- A 16 year-old young woman, turns it around
Newspaper Article
Students’ Stories of Struggles and Successes
Learning disabilities & conflicts with parents
As Larry began to struggle in school in the fourth grade, his parents pushed him to work harder. They dismissed the suggestion that he may have learning disabilities. Larry fell further behind in school and became withdrawn at home. It was hard to get him up and out of the house by his middle school years. When evaluations were done, it appeared that Larry’s cognitive abilities were very low, and he was placed in special education classes. He began to rebel against his parents’ rules, and he was disrespectful and insulting to adults. Although he got along with younger children, he had no friends his own age. Larry began to have physical symptoms (headaches and stomachaches) which were confusing to his physicians. After he provoked a physical fight with his teacher over a perceived insult, a referral was made to the Wedikp Summer Program.
How Wediko helped Larry: Larry was reluctant to participate in group activities during the first week at Wediko. He complained of feeling sick or having injuries, and he told everyone that he didn't belong at the Summer Program. Counselors looked for ways to make Larry feel comfortable and soon noticed his skills in drawing. Staff asked Larry for help in making posters and flyers for group events. The recognition for his artistic skills helped Larry feel like a valued group member.
Regular calls with Larry to his parents, who were meeting with a family therapist from Wediko in Boston, were focused on the shared family goal of getting along and understanding each other better. Larry began to feel competent and valued, and he asked his parents if he could have more responsibility at home. The individualized contract which was created with Larry helped him to tell his own life story and to take pride in his accomplishments. Larry's parents missed him, and were able to identify realistic steps that they could take to let Larry know the family rules while also demonstrating their love for their son. Larry and his family were eager to try out their new strategies when the Summer Program ended.
Man of the house
Jonathan took to the role of “man of the house” after his abusive father left the family. Things settled down and felt safer for awhile for Jonathan and his family. Jonathan's mother, Marilyn, was much happier, even if she was more stressed by financial and other family management concerns. Jonathan enjoyed being in school, where he excelled, but he was increasingly upset at home. Everything his mother did upset him, and he never felt he got enough attention from her. His older sister tried to be “the boss” when his mother was gone, but he felt that, as the man in the house, he should be telling others what they could and couldn’t do. He also felt confused and upset because sometimes he just wanted to be a kid instead of having so much responsibility. He became rageful on a more frequent basis, and his mother was disappointed and angry with him all the time.
How Wediko helped Jonathan: Jonathan was reluctant to go to Wediko for the summer, and he felt homesick and anxious during the first week. Staff responded by setting up a time for him to call home and talk to his mom. His cabin group also addressed homesickness during daily group meetings, where several boys talked about missing their families. The group supervisor reassured Jonathan's mother that homesickness was normal for children having their first experience away from the family, especially when family safety had been a real concern in the past. Pairing Jonathan with a boy who was at Wediko for his second summer and who had overcome homesickness helped Jonathan to believe that his anxiety would pass. He excelled at many activities, in both academic and athletic areas. Jonathan enjoyed having fun and being a "kid." His mother worked to build her repertoire of parenting skills during family therapy meetings. The end-of-summer reunion was a joyous one.
Asperger’s Disorder
Isaac’s parents are both employed full-time in demanding roles. They delayed starting a family until their careers were well-established, and they were thrilled when Isaac was born. Donna, Isaac's mother, showered attention on her son and responded to his every need. Oscar, Isaac's father, made time on the weekends to spend with his son. Still, Isaac was irritable and often flew into rages throughout his childhood. At first, his parents attributed his behavior to an extended period of “terrible twos.” Other behaviors were a concern as well, such as getting stuck in his thinking, a need to adhere rigidly to schedules, and difficulty making eye contact. Isaac was very active, physically and intellectually, and it became hard for his parents to keep up with him. Donna had him evaluated for attention-deficit disorder when he was four, and at the meeting with the physician she first heard the term Asperger’s Disorder.
How Wediko helped Isaac: During the interview for the Summer Program, Isaac grilled the interviewer about the New Hampshire setting: "How much time can I spend on the computer each day?" "Can I have my nightlight on?" "I don't like other kids to come closer than three feet. Can I tell them to stay away from me?" Isaac's mother supported her son's demands, and let the interviewer know that everything goes more smoothly if Isaac's "special requests" are granted. When Isaac arrived at the Summer Program, he struggled to tolerate the demands of group living. He was faced with multiple challenges to his "requests" in every setting. In addition, he was intrigued by the frequent opportunities to participate in activities with his peers, as he did not have friends at home. Isaac was motivated to understand the demands of social relationships, and he worked hard to accommodate to routines that were outside of his comfort level. Donna and Oscar joined a Wediko Parent Support Group where they met and talked with other parents whose children had "quirky" habits. Learning how other families had adapted to the needs of their children was a relief to Isaac's parents, who had felt alone in their experience of parenting a challenging son.
A 10 year-old boy with low self-esteem
Bobby came to Wediko’s Summer Program on July 5th. He was a friendly 10 year-old boy from Boston who was struggling with significant communication and learning difficulties, and a weakness in fine motor skills that made schoolwork and writing a particularly frustrating challenge. Bobby was also overweight and did not like the way he looked or the messages that he got from people about his size. The combination of these things led to Bobby feeling badly about himself and doubting his abilities. He was angry about these struggles and did not see a way to change them for the better.
How Wediko helped Bobby: In his first few weeks at the Wediko Summer Program, Bobby demonstrated glimpses of a wonderful sense of humor and sensitivity toward others. But more often, his appearance was sullen. He overslept on a daily basis, and he often missed parts of school and activities because he was in such a negative space. Further, Bobby's behaviors were scary to other people when he got angry, which happened often. Three or four times a day, he was physically aggressive toward other people, leading to isolation from peers, who were afraid he would hurt them in a rage over something trivial like not being able to have candy at bedtime or not being first in line.
During the many opportunities that staff had to talk with Bobby about these problematic behaviors, Bobby always expressed how sorry he was that he had acted so dangerously. Slowly, he shared his negative feelings about his appearance, academic progress, and inability to express himself when he got mad. He described feeling like an “angry Bobby” just took over his body and he was no longer in control of his actions. He didn’t know when it would happen or what he would do when “angry Bobby” came.
As Bobby described how he felt, his staff were able to help him see ways to predict his angry feelings and adjust his coping style to be less aggressive and more productive. He started to use language to make his feelings known instead of his fists or rocks. Staff were able to provide motivation for Bobby to get up on time in the morning by offering him the chance to help in the dining hall at breakfast. Bobby loved to feel helpful and took these opportunities seriously. His staff also identified how his eating patterns contributed to his feeling unhealthy, and he was able to identify better patterns of eating and limit unhealthy snacks. Bobby was also seen by Wediko’s prescribing physician, who consulted with Bobby’s father and clinical team, before adjusting his medications.
By his fourth week at Wediko, Bobby spent every morning in school, participating in class. His smile was becoming infectious around the setting. In activities, he was making many friends. In group therapy he began speaking up, giving feedback to others and taking responsibility for his own choices. At meals he was more health conscious as well. Bobby was the talk of the group; both children and staff were impressed by his honesty, his courage, and his ability to change. Bobby exceeded everyone’s expectations, including his own: it was hard to believe that the Bobby who was getting ready to go home in August was the same boy who had arrived in July.
A week after he arrived home, in a family therapy session with Bobby and his parents, they sat around a table smiling and laughing. Bobby blushed and grinned from ear to ear as his dad raved about how healthy his son looked and how amazing it was that Bobby had been the first person up in the morning every day since his return. Before his summer at Wediko, his dad shared, the only days of the year that Bobby had gotten out of bed without a struggle were his birthday and Christmas. And he added, Bobby was able to talk about his feelings, accept limits set by adults, eat healthier snacks, and play with friends. Bobby was ready for a successful year with a positive outlook and a well-earned sense of self esteem.
A 16 year-old young woman, turns it around
Dawn is 16-years-old and has spent four summers at Wediko. The story of her early life is sad and traumatic, but Dawn is full of promise. Perhaps the biggest obstacle for Dawn is learning how to trust people. Because she was abused and abandoned by the adults who should have cared for her, Dawn has a hard time allowing trusting adults to support her. When she first arrived at Wediko, evidence of her difficult past clouded most interactions she had. She lashed out at adults and children and stomped away from resolving a conflict. Even her body reflected her deep distress.
How Wediko helped Dawn: Four years later, Dawn is known as a leader on the Wediko setting. She speaks eloquently about what it means to be a good friend and how to work through difficult times. Dawn supports other teenagers and children in their grief. Staff members know that they can turn to her to help others and to offer the compassionate perspective of a peer. She is vivacious and as for her future, she is shooting for the starts.
This summer, Dawn was host of the all girls poetry night and was part of the college prep class in Think City. Even with her progress, Dawn knows that she still has work to do. Her relationships continue to be complicated, particularly with the people she cares the most about, including her foster mother. In line with her other bold steps toward growth and self-improvement, Dawn made a point of letting staff know that she felt a need to work with her foster home to improve communication and trust within her home. Adults and children are now drawn to Dawn, and she has demonstrated the potential to be a real success in school and the community as she becomes a young adult.
Newspaper Article
Senior doesn’t let challenges hold him back
Nashua Telegraph, June 6, 2008
Download the article and learn how the Wediko Summer Program helps senior overcomes obstacles to graduate.
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